Denmark, Socialism and Public Toilets

Dear Readers,

After a long break, I'm back!

Many bad things happened since my last post. We had a global monster called ISIS, for example. How I missed summers when I could write about figs and Ramadan celebrations... Now its suicide bombs, military coups, corruption scandals, and terrible, I mean, terrible air travel...

I believe scholars of International Relations need extra compensation these days. Perks such as spa packages, alcoholic drinks or mini retreats would really help.

Most of us are depressed and borderline suicidal... Just look at any news site or Twitter, and you'd get all your spirits sucked out of you, as if you've encountered a Death Eater from the Harry Potter books...

In case you were wondering, I'm about to get to the topic of my blog entry: public toilets in Denmark!

So your humble author took a short vacation in Europe this summer.

It all started with collecting mountains of paperwork and a personal visit to the German Consulate in Chicago in April, for a tourist visa. The lady at the consulate was not convinced that my tenure-track job & salary in the US were strong enough credentials to visit her beloved Germany. (Hope my bosses read this before our pay raises.) So I had to have other folks in the group to vouch for me:
1 American and 2 Norwegian citizens. Only after receiving copies of their passports and written testimonies that I am who I am, and really, can afford the trip, I got a precious 14 day Schengen visa.

Fast forward, after a visit to the house where Karl Marx was born (in Trier), we moved up to Denmark.

During the 2016 election cycle in the US, Mr. Bernie Sanders had created a real hype about  the place. The way Sander's had described, Denmark was the golden standard of social democracy, wherein all your social needs were met by a generous state, and everyone was enlightened, affluent and above average...

So we drove from Holland to Denmark. Unlike all the other European countries where you just keep driving on the same highway and voila, you're in Belgium, France, or the Netherlands, the road sign says; in Denmark there was police check point on the highway. They look at every car, and waive you in.

In Denmark, we stopped at the first gas station we saw. Danes stick with their Kroner so you better remember your multiplication table really quick. My son had a hamburger. This precious Danish burger at the gas station cost us about $15. And, they charge extra for catchup... about $1. Yes, we learned the hard way.

We moved on, trying to get to the little "summer town" to meet our friends. In this town, we visited two big grocery stores, and neither had a bathroom for customers. Then, we started driving around, thinking that the haven of Mr. Sanders would surely have public bathrooms scattered around this little tourist town.

After quite a bit of driving, we saw ONE sign. Following the sign carefully, we arrived at the site. I jumped out, hoping to find maybe a fancy Toto (some models as much as $10,000), since we're in one of the most affluent nations on earth..

Alas, the bathroom door wouldn't open. But there was a ton of cryptic writing on the door. I tried couple of times, no, the door wouldn't budge.

Finally, I looked at the writing again. Amongst all the Nordic languages, there was a tiny line in English: To use the toilet, send an SMS to xxx123.

You've got to be kidding!!!

So in the social democratic haven, you need to first have a cell phone, and secondly, a plan that works in Denmark, to have access to a public toilet!

What about old people? My mom cannot send SMS messages... What about young kids? Why would everyone has to have a cell phone? What about the mother who's juggling a toddler, a baby and a stroller?

Say anything about the vicious capitalism in America, but at least the public bathrooms are available and accessible to ALL public, regardless of your cell phone coverage!

Back to Denmark:
So I did not want this horrid toilet experience cloud my judgement. But after a week in this "summer town" in Denmark, and a day in Copenhagen, here is my bottom line:

- the whole country is like an empty Ikea store: good, clean design & furnishings, no soul.
- outside Copenhagen, hardly anyone is on the streets or in their yards
- bicycles rule the roads, they're even used as family vehicles
- even in July, it is impossible to swim! way too cold
- most signs are in Danish & other Scandinavian languages
- life is hard for just English speakers
- mobile coverage is needed to use public bathrooms

In short, before you wholeheartedly endorse an ideology, make sure to see one place it is practiced:
Free trade neo-liberals, check out London and it's exorbitant housing market.
Libertarians, see Idaho.
Feel-the-Bernistas, see Denmark :)

May your airport lines be short, and flights uneventful.

Academic Mommy

Thanksgiving in Turkey!

   Friends & Comrades,

   Ironically, I spent the Thanksgiving break in Turkey this year!

   I was invited to a workshop on Latin America. It was hosted by Ankara University, and financed by TIKA. A tiring but certainly worthwhile trip. Below are the highlights:

Distance covered: approx. 6000 miles (~10,000kms), each way

Flight Connections: 3

Total number of poking and probing by the airport security: 6

      (yes, they touch you w/their left hands, despite having beeping detectors in their right hands)

Days spent in Ankara: 4

Total number of days spent while traveling to Ankara: 4

Number of Latin American Ambassadors met on this trip: 7

Number of diplomatic missions from Latin America in Ankara: 9

Hotel reservations: 1

Number of days spent at the hotel: 0

Number of nights spent at various friends’ homes: 4

Happy hours with friends: 4

Amount of stuffed mussels consumed on this trip: over 20

Turkish coffee: 2 cups

Fortune telling from coffee grains:  1

Let it Snow! Let Us Shovel!

Esteemed Readers!

Winter is upon us. I hope you're all happy and perky despite the miserable weather.

I thought presenting the end of 2010 in numbers would save you some valuable reading time. So here we go, The End of 2010 in Numbers:

Total number of suitcases: 4

Total number of carry-ons: 3

Amount of time it took us to get from Ankara to Iowa (door-to-door): 28 hours

Total distance covered: 6,857 miles or 11,035 km.

Number of connecting flights: 3

Number of friends we bumped into on the flights between Ankara-Munich-Chicago: 2 (see photo below @ Munich airport)

Amount of Euros spent at the Munich Airport's children play area: 12

Chances that the ride is broken and will swallow your precious Euro coins, without giving your kid the 16 second fun he/she wants: 1 in 4

Total time spent at the Munich airport: 4 hours

Number of shovels available at the house in Iowa: 3

Total number of people in the household: 3

Age of the youngest member of the shoveling crew: 4 (see top photo)

Chances that you'll wake up to a loooong day of shoveling in Iowa: 50-50

Number of Norwegian flags hanging in the house in Iowa: 2

Number of American flags: 0

Average age of the next door neighbors: 72

Total number of flags hanging at the door of the neighbor to our left: 4

Number of flags among those 4 that is endorsed by the Tea Party movement: 1

Number of exams graded right before the New Year: 33

Number of papers graded : 84

Number of papers that were plagiarised: 2

Probability of getting a Thomas the Train toy for our son each time we go to a toy store: 1

Number of people who consulted our 4 year old son at Target for their toy purchases right before X-Mas: 3

Number of those who actually chose what he told them to: 2

Number of in person Santa visits for our son in December 2009: 1

Number of in person Santa visits this year: 0

Number of times Santa Skyped our son this year: 1

Number of Bone-in Rib Eye steaks consumed on New Years Eve: 3

Number of adults on the table: 3

Number of booster seats: 1

Glasses of champaign consumed: 2

Happy New Year!

ADDENDUM:

Number of senseless shootings in the US since we got here (aprx. 3 weeks): 2

Number of people dead: 6 (Arizona) + 1 (Nebraska) = 7

Number of injured: 13 + 1 = 14

Age of youngest victim = 9

Number of fundamentalist religious groups planning to protest at the young victim's funeral: 1

Number of state legislations passed in Arizona barring protesters from getting 300 feet of funeral services: 1